Saturday, November 25, 2006

Anal Retention

What's that then?

Could it be the need for a dump, but your body saying no? No, this I think is constipation. Anal retention or Anally Retentive, I believe to be the ability of certain individuals to find issue with any, yes any given instruction or process. The type of person that would ask twenty questions of a given task for example, go walk the dog. “Oh yes, walk the dog you say” “What if it rains?” “What if the dogs feet get sore on the footpath?” “you do know his feet will get sore don’t you!”. “If I could ask the dog if he wants to walk I’m sure he’ll say no”. “Of course you know that if it rains the sores he might possibly get on his feet might become inflamed and might become even more sore”. I think you get picture here.
The type of person that will enjoy giving war and peace as an answer when a simple yes or no would suffice. The type of person that will check all ‘your’ alternatives to the question when a simple yes or no would suffice. The type of person that insists on re-educating you in their answer when a simple yes or no would suffice and finally the type of person that will go out of their way to demonstrate they are right, when a simple yes or no would suffice.
These folks I have had the pleasure of not really knowing or dealing with so far in my life. Until now that is! So I dedicate this blog entry to them, in the hope that they might understand that some people don’t care for the “what if?” Or the “yeh But!” and only care for the “ok”, “no problem” type of approach. The type of person that can see challenges and solutions not fucking problems all the time.
Do you not just hate it when you ask a task to be completed and you end up arguing the toss with complete dinosaurs that in their finite wisdom think that doing something slightly better is wrong because “we don’t do it like that”. Slightly better is not just my opinion but the opinion of other non jurasics. Change is something that happens in life, if we don’t change or adapt we will eventually get left behind in the dark days of old things that have gone by. You don’t see Sony making Betamax do you? Naahhh they moved on. Bill Gates using windows, naaaahhhh he’s moved on, he’s got a mac. You get the picture, that’s two pictures you have from this so far.
By now you must have realised that something or someone has been bugging me, there’s a word ‘Hasbin’. Moving swiftly on. My attitude toward others has always been to be open, transparent and always ask not tell. Maybe I am being too nice and I need to toughen up! That’s that, back to anal retention, if a person who has met you briefly once upon a time tells you that they are more relaxed and less up tight than you on your second meeting with them… Take from that statement, “ I think you’ll find we are more relaxed here than you were back then”. and convert it to it’s real meaning of, “ You will not like it here, you do not have the same defeatist, miserable forty something, I know more than you type of attitude and your outlook and smile will be destroyed” …. “that’s the internal IP address with the bars 173.00”. Not….
I really do think that folks get jealous of people trying and succeeding to do better in life, and will attempt to bring them down from that place where they can smile, laugh and be happier. Making assumptions of people without cause is something that we all probably do, anally retentives make this their one and only cause in life. Being anally retentive and forcing opinions whether right or wrong will be something to regret. Making folks miserable will bring dislike and resentment. Seniority and Support will evade, the Role of the anally retentive will remain the same until personality transplants are available on the NHS. The right attitude is the key to happiness. I am finishing this one now, I may return to this blog to reflect like I do with some of the others. I’ll end it like this, You don’t need to make war with me, it’s old fashioned and I’ve already moved on.

“What’s worse than an anally retentive” ……….. “Two of em”

They come out at night, Playing Kung Fu with their barrrrs.

Grand National 2019