pBullox`

Forgot all about doing one of these entries last year. Well didn't forget just didn't bother as 2014 wasn't that memorable. (Actually struggling recalling it now too) The years at an end, I'm in a pub in Newport Shropshire before I go to New Years party at Kay's house. Fancy dress too, think I'm gonna be a super hero of kind. I've got 30 mins to write this entry and go get changed. It'll be good tonight I'm sure, everyone except Tom will be there, few beers, bit of food and home. Couldn't be better, tomorrow a meal with Aunty Kay at Dans pub, try some of that boys food. After all Terry and I tried to convince home to not cook; how wrong were we then? What about this year then, how many changes I been through. (Que blonde track playing now) New job, took VM into new territory and joined Arris shortly after, a promotion too. Now got some work to do in the new year to deliver a great service so I can move on in life, you see you got to do your be...

Disappointment often leads to discouragement, which is even more of a "downer." How disappointing and discouraging it is to see the things we love senselessly destroyed by others or, even worse, by our own neglect or failure. Regardless of how it may happen or who may be responsible, it is hard to go on when everything we have counted on falls down around us. That's when those of us who have the creative power of the Holy Spirit on the inside can get a new vision, a new direction, and a new goal to help us overcome the downward pull of disappointment, discouragement, and destruction.

First outing actually camping in Caroline the camper. A couple of teething issues, defo needs new bed foam and seat covers. Ability to have a cooker outside important too then all will be good. Not sure camping is for me though, feel cramped, sometimes cold and missing mod cons. I'm a hotel person, draught beer, food made to order and a room you can walk around naked in. This site we're at has electric and slow broadband so that's a good thing. The TV thingy I brought is pants, won't switch on or owt. I'll have to get a new one when I get home, being without the telly box is a good thing though, right? Nah..  So it's Sunday, no Churches near by so no worship today. Back home Monday and back to normality, work and all. So that's an entry from the camper, not sure how many more there will be... 

Not sleeping well, that's not this place that's just me right now. Up every hour then struggling to get back. Have had an easy day though. It's been really quite cool spending time with Kay. She's been paranoid that this retreat isn't what I wanted or that I'll even like it. Yes, the services I can't follow, the meal times are different but it's all about experiencing this. The monks are welcoming and very cool, set in there ways but they have to be. I've enjoyed the day it's been easy with no pressure or time constraints to anything. Met some nice guys from the continent and sat down to eat with them. All this hospitality freely given. Life at the Abbey is certainly different to life outside, quiet contemplation is the order of the day, or just chatting small talk. Pigs in the field are cool too... All named now, porky, KVE, Pork Crunch and Bacon. You see the pattern right? So, will I come back. Probably not, will I retreat again? Don't know...

I lay in the silence, fireworks in the distance I can hear, must be celebrating the holidays. How do I feel? A little low, not sure why. I think I'm missing out on life being hear in the monastery. Fear of the unknown I suppose. Breakfast tomorrow at 7:30, no talking, what should I do, where should I go. I really don't know what to say. Got room yuk, that's that feeling that once you're in bed you don't wanna move. It smells slightly of hair grease and sweat. The sheets are clean though. The room is clean and quite big with it. Very basic, no internet! Grr. Don't know about this retreat thing, just wanna go out or go home. Not feeling it, been asked to wear trousers at the next service. Don't know why these dress codes still exist. The service was sung in Latin, I could follow using the book in English. There was all sorts of bowing, sitting, standing and all that. I know when the Gospel is proclaimed we stand, that's before Jesus' words. We stand be...

Monday, this is the last week of being off work. I feel very positive that the operation has gone well. Need to exercise now in order to become that bit fitter. You know it makes sense to be fit and healthy. If my life is to be short then I'm not going to sit back and miss out. My boy JB needs me right now. I'm pondering what to do with myself for the next stage of my life. Continue to do the job I do now only better? Also improve my skill-set and what I can offer the job market and employer.. There are also thoughts returning that I need to setup in business. A little place I call Fanny Bullocks is in mind, Pork sandwiches and great coffee :-) Let's see where these thoughts take me … In Jesus name I pray he guides me and gives me the opportunity to fulfil my life vision and do what's right in his eyes. Amen New Hair Doo ;-)

An old Draft I found, thought I'd publish it The Hypermobility Syndrome Association :: View topic - Cardio Ablation : "I am on a waiting list to get a cardio ablation because of my palpitations, arhythmias and svt's. Palpitations are when you can feel your heart beat but at unexpected times (you would expect to feel it after excersising but not while resting) Arhythmias are often descibed as 'whomps' and 'flutters' I would say that the whomps kinda feel like your heart has just hiccuped, and the flutters are in usually situated above the heart in the middle, slightly below that collar bones. SVT's is when your heart beats extremely fast and hard, (mine usually averages at 216bpm) The believed cause of this is that because of the HMS, I have an area with extra heart muscle fibres which confuses the pacemaker of the heart causing all of the above problems. The surgery involves going into the heart via an angioplasty thing (through a vein in the gro...