pBullox`

I thought deserved a mention, a punishment invented by some bright spark... A cystoscopy was the procedure I had yesterday. The thing itself is not bad but the aftermath was oh so painful.. All went well, I saw this camera thing that was eventually fed down my penis, yeh.... Ouch.... On the screen I saw the tubes and then inside the bladder, it was uncomfortable at worse and not painful - too much. After all was done I had an overwhelming urge to go pee... I got to the toilet and it started. The pain was intense as the saline solution comes out, then it felt like someone had set it on fire... I stumbled to the door and quickly fastened my trousers, I felt like using the loo again, and the urge was huge. I got back to the toilet and it was 'game over'... Pain...... I stepped out into the corridor and stumbled toward a nurse, I was about to pass out. The pain was so intense. They lay me down and slowly it subsided. I was told it will wear off, it did very slowly. Finally I got up...

It's all wrong today, I'm not where I should be mentally or spiritually. This day is going wrong. To top that I'm in the urology department waiting for a procedure.. .... Oh no, got to go. Time to change, no computer today just the phone so will leave it there... I'm so scared...

After the torture that is parking at this place (should have caught the bus like a good citizen)I'm here waiting for an IVU... What's that? I ask, I'm not too sure only read the letter as I sat down to wait. I'm near rooms that say XRay so am thinking that may have something to do with it. We shall see... ...... The wait continues, I'm still smiling although a little apprehensive, this thing has injections involved. Doh! ..... Oh my days!! in the words of Dominik. I am nearly naked waiting in a corridor covered in those gowns that hospitals have, an injection coming and they're going to fill my bladder some how. You see I have kidney stones and this is the start of the investigations to find and fix them. Hope it goes well eh. I'm still smiling I know who's got my back. All will be good. Lol ... Just used the toilet under instruction to empty my bladder, they're going to fill it, I wonder if they serve tea to do that. ...

Surprises me how time flies by. It's February already and I'm thinking I wanted to have done more by now. Cycle training not done! Weight loss for the jump not done, new job, interviews not done. Come on lad get a grip and get it together. Hope I have more to report by the end of February anyways. Lent begins soon, a much needed time for me to focus on relationships and my relationship with the LORD. Folks ask, what you giving up? I was asked this Sunday by a lady from church, I wanted to scream at her. You see lent is more than just giving up some insignificant thing like chocolate or alcohol for a few weeks. It's about choosing to not do, eat or have something that you really want, in order to bring you to the Lord in need of his help.... This way when the want or need arises you can turn to God and ask for the strength to not have. Like Jesus when he was in the wilderness. Some folks don't eat at all, I couldn't do that personally. But whatever I choose to not do...

The year has started well, a visit to London for lunch and a show. Saw 'Wicked' at the Apollo in Victoria. A really good show about the witches in Oz. They are quite nice really, in love and not evil at all... If you believe what the new story is about :-) after we took in Regent Street and Hamleys for Joshua before getting back to the trains... He's now the proud owner of a Harry Potter wand. I very nearly purchased some new boots until I realised they were three hundred pounds... Whaaaat! Thursday bought some comedy, in the shape of Lenny Henry. He was visiting Newbury to perform his new show 'Cradle to Rave'. The story of how music impacted his life and the love he's always had for music. It was great hearing him talk of the places he grew up with and the memories that bought back for me. Turning to Michelle all the time asking "do you remember that"? I was probably annoying to some folks... This weekend has been quite cool, Michelle gave me a surpr...

A strange day yesterday. Things took a positive route - I read that When God gives you a vision to follow you as an individual should peruse it and doors will start to open for you. I don't mean that in some way things will drop in your lap from the sky. What I'm thinking is that God will make clear where you should be at - and tell you that too. Anyways I've been chasing jobs and positions lately and have chosen ones suitable but to no avail. Until, today. . . I was approached by an old colleague and friend who has put my name forward for a new position. (did weeks back without telling me) One that fits with where I want to be. I'm thinking this could be the one, a new opportunity. Not me chasing it but it chasing me. Made me feel quite special, today I woke up expecting to get to work to submit my CV. Expecting problems with getting it right I set off in the car... The weather was glorious, I told a friend I felt quite blessed by it. When submitting the CV the words ...

I usually write an entry to sign off the year but this year seems a bit different. I suppose it's because I signed off a while back. I just didn't enjoy 2010, I managed to fill it with plans and dreams totally unsupported. I suppose my nievety made me come up with plans that now seem like a pipe dream, the money lost is not the issue but the time not doing what I should have been is. That's being with people and spending quality time in the presence of God, Some of my best time spent building the kingdom this past year has been with the young people under the leadership of Guy, Peter and Tom, Long I hope this shall last. 2011 is already a more positive year even at two days old, I'll be setting out to find my God given vision whilst spending time with my Church family - hopefully building long lasting relationships and experiencing Gods kingdom once again. 2010 had it's God given great times, after all every morning I woke up breathing and witnessed friends having g...